A Joke

Two builders (_y and _Z) are seated either side of a table
in a rough Mancunian pub when a well-dressed man enters,
orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.

The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit...

_Y: - I reckon he's an accountant.

_Z: - No way - he's a geologist.

_Y: - He ain't no geologist ! A geologist wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer
gets the better of and he makes for the toilet.
On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.

Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the _Y

_Y: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were
wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken ! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession!

_Y: - Oh ! What's that then ?

Suit: - I'll try to explain by example. Do you have a
goldfish at home?

_Y: - Er, mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a
bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

_Y: - It's in a pond!

Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

_Y: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town
if you have a large garden then you have a large house?

_Y: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built it myself!

Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is
logical to assume that you haven't built it just for
yourself and that you are quite probably married?

_Y: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three
children.

Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are
sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?

_Y: - Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not
masturbate very often?

_Y: - Me? Never

Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

_Y: - How's that then?

Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've
told you about your sex life!

_Y: - I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.

_Z: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

_Y: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

_Z: - What's that then?

_Y:- I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

_Z: - Nope

_Y: - Well then, you're a wanker.

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Mr and Mrs _A are in bed

Mr _A turns on his side and lets go a fart ..He turn to his mrs and says 1-0

So they are lying there watching TV when Mrs _A turns and points her arse at _A and lets go a thunderous fart turns to _A and says 1-1

So feeling abit cheesed off that his wifes fart was better than his , he breathes in and squeezes out yet another fart and shouts out 2-1

Now Mrs _A is seething because _A's fart stank the room out so she unleashes this almighty Fart thats so strong she follows through ..

She then turns to _A and says 2-2 half time change ends